r/nottheonion 8d ago

'Everyone makes mistakes', says teen who karate-kicked 74-year-old man into River Mersey

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/everyone-makes-mistakes-says-teen-20644989
55k Upvotes

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u/daiwild 8d ago

I didn’t know he was old

So to him, the mistake he made is that he misjudged the age—not that he kicked a fucking man into a river

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u/MimonFishbaum 8d ago

There are numerous occasions where karate kicking a man into a river is acceptable

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u/ekajrepus 8d ago
  • man is on fire
  • river grants immortality
  • It's the six fingered man who killed your father, he should prepare to die
  • kicking-itus, where your body involuntarily kicks people
  • man asked to be kicked into river
  • You thought it was a young river
  • You just saved a bunch of money on car insurance
  • It's time-traveling Hittler
  • better than kicking him into lava
  • he's about to be attacked by unicorns who can't swim

I mean- the list is endless.

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u/Thoughtfulprof 8d ago

You need to find out if he he is a witch by observing his ability to float?

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u/naalbinding 8d ago

Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?

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u/new_sorpigal_enroth 8d ago

I am Arthur, King of the Britons!

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u/checkT 8d ago

King of the who?

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u/new_sorpigal_enroth 8d ago

The Britons!

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u/jackelram 8d ago

Well I didn’t vote for you

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u/new_sorpigal_enroth 8d ago

You don’t vote for Kings...

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u/LetsTCB 8d ago

Who are the Britons ?

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u/new_sorpigal_enroth 8d ago

Well, we all are, we are all Britons!

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u/WifeofTech 8d ago

No no no you need the larger scales and a duck!

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u/Khaldara 8d ago

Build a bridge out of ‘er!

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u/Soddington 8d ago

Ahh, but can you not also build a bridge from stone?

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u/IshmaelTheWonderGoat 8d ago

this african parrot wouldn't go european or bite your kneecaps?

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u/musci1223 8d ago

Or the man is actually a turtle wearing a human suit

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u/ReactsWithWords 8d ago

You’re right. I would gladly kick Mitch McConnell into a river.

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u/9some 8d ago

But isn’t he old, though? Hm, not sure, better kick him, just to be safe.

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u/Gobblewicket 8d ago

He's still young for a turtle.

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u/PM_ME_YOUR_KITTAYS 8d ago

I would join a human chain to prevent MMC from getting out of the river.

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u/LtSpinx 8d ago

In this case, would the crime be NOT kicking Mitch McConnell into the river?

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u/DomesticApe23 8d ago

'You thought it was a young river'

Brilliant.

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u/SnekkPlissken 8d ago

So good it took me a second to get it. The best kind of jokes

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u/1block 8d ago

You thought it was a young river

Thank you for this.

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u/Chickentrap 8d ago

I was saving for that gold for something, and this was it.

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u/Denver_Blows 8d ago

Monty Python movies aren't complete without a good kick in the river.

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u/MrmmphMrmmph 8d ago

Fish slap into the canal

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u/Mysterious_Fox_8616 8d ago

Flesh wound into the chasm.

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u/KungFuSnorlax 8d ago

You are a horse and the man startled you.

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u/gain_nub 8d ago

Inconceivable

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u/ras_the_elucidator 8d ago

I don’t think that word means what you think it means

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u/scotland42 8d ago

Anybody want a peanut?

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u/MoreMegadeth 8d ago

Alright, this is one of the best reddit comments ive seen. Well done. The young river and princess bride reference got me good.

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u/Mysticpoisen 8d ago

Also wtf is a karate-kick. Is that not just a kick? Like a karate-chop is something pretty specific. Karate uses a bunch of kicks, and they all have normal names.

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u/AmericasNextDankMeme 8d ago

Every kick I do is a karate kick because I know karate

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u/JakeTheAndroid 8d ago

Yeah, this matters. If he back kicked the man without looking or lining up the kick, okay that's kind of impressive. If he used a jumping crescent kick, that's kind of a cocky move to use on an old man. Was it a front kick or a thrusting front kick? Maybe a more iconic roundhouse kick? Did he axe kick him and then the old man bounced into the river due to the force of hitting the ground?

These are the details I need from my reporting on karate kicks.

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u/Tandemdonkey 8d ago

My first thought was side kick or spinning back kick, I feel they're the most likely to send someone flying as you can get some nice upward momentum started by really digging into their midsection

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u/ronsrobot 8d ago

When he did it he yelled "Hai-ya!" like Miss Piggy.

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u/n00bvin 8d ago

Karate means "empty hand," so if nothing in your hand, I guess it's a Karate kick.

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u/Bigscotman 8d ago

A man has been kicked into the river in Lego city!

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u/3-DMan 8d ago

"It's just a river prank bro!"

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u/flavor_blasted_semen 8d ago

I told him, "ok boomer," and he still didn't shut up. I had to do it.

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u/karrachr000 8d ago

I also find the kid's mom supporting him to be disgusting. If I had done something that monumentally stupid, my mother would make me wish for jail time over what she would do. And then she would make sure that I got the jail time.

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u/ACaffeinatedWandress 8d ago

Yeah, she commented that she hoped the old man would recover ‘because her son wasn’t a rogue.’

A. That statement makes no sense, and it is so nonselfaware and selfish, as well.

B. I can see where the young man got his issues. Every time he misbehaved as a teen, mommy was there to announce that the incident was blown out of porportion, that he was only joking, just a kid, meant well, didn’t need to be punished, exc. Right?

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u/spvce-cadet 8d ago

from the context of the rest of her statements, it appears what she meant by this was “I hope he recovers because if he doesn’t, my poor innocent baby might have to face worse consequences, and he doesn’t deserve that because he’s such a good boy!”

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u/CEY-19 8d ago

To be fair, maybe she knew that if her son were a rogue, that would've been a sneak attack, the old man would have taken double damage, and would have no hope of recovering.

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u/thecorninurpoop 8d ago

Well now you know why he is the way that he is

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u/jhwyung 8d ago

With a mom like that, are you surprised the kid's a fucking loser?

Everyone has an enabler, it's sad when the enabler is your mom

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u/ErnestT_bass 8d ago

"everyone mistakes" sure when i was teenager...like a dubmass left the window open while the AC was one....or put color clothes in all white wash and all the shit turn pink....or I forgot to put the cap on the radioar cap after adding more antifreeze to my car.....BUT NOOO you POS kicking a 74 year old is not a mistake is assault and hope this POS goes to jail...not the same thing!!!!

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u/Chaosmusic 8d ago

I forgot to put the cap on the radioar cap after adding more antifreeze to my car

You fucking monster. How can you even look at yourself in the mirror? Why weren't you out kicking old men into rivers like a normal teenager?

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u/tettou13 8d ago

Come on, give him a break... He didn't know it was an old car.

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u/Kuulas_ 8d ago

Being a dubmass sounds hella hardcore

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u/Chaosmusic 8d ago

Being a dubmass sounds hella hardcore

If you have the dubmass and the dubvelocity you can calculate the dubmomentum.

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u/The_Hipster_Artist 8d ago

Oh so that’s how you make dubstep!

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u/IndependentMacaroon 8d ago

That's a sociopath in the making right there. Particularly as he's already 18 and leading a younger kid along basically.

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u/notlookingatnsfw 8d ago

A man has fallen into the river in Legocity

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u/UnderstandingNo4805 8d ago

"Everyone makes mistakes!" , I said, beside the man I had beaten to the ground with a baseball bat, with his leg broken.

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u/Gordath 8d ago

"In this instance, his mistake was crossing paths with me."

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u/sebastianwillows 8d ago

I push up my sunglasses, sheath my Katana, and walk away

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u/dfreinc 8d ago

title almost made me spit out my coffee laughing but then i read the article and it's not funny at all and props to the two 14 year old girls that formed a human chain and saved the dude.

and of course, those kids filmed the assault and posted it on snapchat, laughing about it on said film...so they should get the book thrown at them.

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u/DiamondPigman_ 8d ago

Yeah I had second thoughts about posting it after I saw how miserable the article was, but the title sold it. The girls definitely deserve heaps of praise.

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u/Sumit316 8d ago

The victim's wife said her husband 'believes he could have drowned that day, if it had not have been for the young girls that helped him out'.

Quick thinking saved a man's life here while this boy is saying he didn't realize the man was old. What difference between them. Astonishing.

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u/entheogenocide 8d ago

Those girls saved the karate kids life too. If old man had drowned, danielson would be in prison for murder.

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u/nojro 8d ago

Very solid point. And the little shit still doesnt get it

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u/hypersonic18 8d ago

Maybe slamming him with attempted murder might get it through to his two whole braincells

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u/bakkafish 8d ago

i think you greatly overestimate the power of those two brain cells.

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u/gnurdette 8d ago

I feel like the work of police detectives has to have gotten a lot easier since criminals started filming and posting themselves.

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u/Thewhistlegowhoooooo 8d ago

My criminal procedure prof back in law school was an ex detective who became an attorney- he showed us so many interrogations where the suspect just confessed. People underestimate how much guilty people want to snitch on themselves. I mean it happens ALOT. Same as people consenting to a search when they know damn well they have 2kilos of spicy talcum in thier trunk.

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u/gnurdette 8d ago edited 8d ago

It reminds me of investigative reporters whose technique to get aides to dish their political bosses' dark secrets is... to talk to them. People are just terrible at not talking.

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u/Thewhistlegowhoooooo 8d ago

Yeah seriously lawyers worst enemy is their own client.

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u/SlapMyCHOP 8d ago

I am NOT looking forward to this. I work for a lawyer as a student and clients are SO FUCKING TERRIBLE at advancing their own best interest. Especially criminal clients.

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u/andante528 8d ago

Guilty people (or people who are tired of carrying someone else’s secrets) are especially bad at not talking. So when someone who wants to talk meets anyone who really listens, especially if they also give any sign of respect and/or kindness, that person tends to forget that they’re talking to a cop, reporter, etc. Or not forget, but it fades into the background and becomes less urgent than being heard and understood.

And in my limited/past experience, cops and reporters are great at compartmentalizing. You can feel real sympathy in the moment, and people respond to that.

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u/NoProblemsHere 8d ago

spicy talcum

This is how I know I'm getting old. I swear I learn weird new slang every day. Darn kids and your words.

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u/BlindPaintByNumbers 8d ago

That's funny. I watched the video where a lawyer and a cop both said over and over never talk to the police

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u/GlobalTravelR 8d ago

But the boy's mum said it was just a "spur of the moment thing." So that means it wasn't so bad. /s

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u/Thorneywifu 8d ago

“Haha my child has no self control.” What shit.

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u/LesbianCommander 8d ago

"he does dumb shit all the time and we never taught him not to, so he didn't know this isn't okay, so we cool now right?"

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u/HammockComplex 8d ago

“Does grand theft auto have karate kicking? He probably learned it from there”

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u/little-bird 8d ago

the shit apple doesn’t fall far from the shit tree

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u/adaenis 8d ago

“Haha my child has no I've never taught my child self control or punished him.”

FTFY

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u/Ath47 8d ago

"It was something that he did, stupidly, at the minute and nobody wants the fella. What's the word? Suffer.

So for me, all I want is for that man to just get his life back because it shouldn’t have happened."

^ the genius mother of this future violent criminal.

Sounds like she just wants all this to blow over and everyone’s goes their separate ways without any silly punishment or anything.

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u/Buddahrific 8d ago

He was a future violent criminal up to the moment he karate kicked someone into a river.

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u/Psychoman21221 8d ago

"Cmon guys, who didnt try a little attempted murder as a teen?"

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u/Mergyt 8d ago

Just boys being murderers!

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u/Yitram 8d ago

Its just a little locker room attempted murder.

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u/NeverTopComment 8d ago

It was just a spur of the moment murder, its fine, Mom! WHERES MY FUCKING MEATLOAF?

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u/jbonte 8d ago

I wonder if she would feel that way if someone just randomly kicked the shit out of her badly raised offspring?

Maybe that should start happening more spur of the moment

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u/nordic-nomad 8d ago

Well I mean as long as the attempted murder of the old man was spontaneous, then that's probably fine.

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u/HalfMoon_89 8d ago

Those girls are heroes. Keeping their heads during s crisis and successfully saving an elderly man? What a contrast to this fucking douchebag.

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u/omniplatypus 8d ago

Unfortunately the articles that seem most onion-y are often also really awful because you wouldn't want them to be real in the first place :-/

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u/EdgeLord3000 8d ago

...followed by the bookshelf

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u/x86_64_ 8d ago

His mum, who supported him in court, said: "For me, I want the elderly gentleman to get better because my son’s not a rogue.

Jayzus, is his entire family this tone-deaf and deflective?

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u/[deleted] 8d ago

[deleted]

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u/sond1369 8d ago

“My son’s a bard and, well, it’s better than trying to fuck him so it’s a step in the right direction”

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u/HeftyPockets 8d ago

How do you think entitled little shitheads end up that way?

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u/itoril 8d ago

Exactly. This didn't start with the assault/attempted murder. That's the end result.

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u/Darktidemage 8d ago

So her defense is "if my son were a rogue I would want that old guy to die, and thats all i have to say"

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u/Pudding_Hero 8d ago

As a judge its like. “Bitch you want a 5 year sentence? We speak English not nonsense in this court”

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u/BurningSpaceMan 8d ago

Hes obviously a lvl 1 Monk

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u/karmacarmelon 8d ago

"Obviously I’m very sorry and that, you know, it wasn’t supposed to happen. I didn’t realise he was 74 years old.Obviously everyone makes mistakes in life. Do you know what I mean? That’s the honest truth from the bottom of my heart. There’s not much I can say."

What a mealy mouthed apology. What what was supposed to happen when you intentionally flying kick someone by a river? Somehow not knowing someone's age apparently makes it better. And very few people make the mistake of deliberately kicking someone into a river.

It's a real "I'm sorry, but" and just underlines what an obnoxious turd they are.

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u/gnurdette 8d ago

Our society has perfected the art of the crappy pseudo-apology that makes you angrier at the offender than before they opened their mouth.

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u/ShovelHand 8d ago edited 8d ago

"That's not who I am. Like, I look at the video of that person (who is myself) saying and doing those things, and it's like I don't even recognize them (again, that person is myself). I really strayed from my Buddhism, and it's just not me. I really appreciate your compassion (for me, who did bad things) during this difficult time (that I caused)."

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u/Heath_and_Harebells 8d ago

I wish I had an award to give you. This is perfect. People say “that’s not who I am” soooo often. It’s absolutely who they are.

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u/_swimshady_ 8d ago

I find myself saying thats not who I want to be a lot. But as I'm thinking about it in not sure if thats better or worse.

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u/Heath_and_Harebells 8d ago

I think “that’s not who I am” as a faux apology/attempt to excuse hideous behaviour is ridiculous; a cop out and/or delusional.

“That’s not who I want to be” has some level of self awareness, especially if it’s said prior to poor behaviour and prevents its occurrence. If people do crappy stuff over and over and moan to themselves “that’s not who I want to be” afterwards without taking any steps to better themselves then it’s another cop out/empty words.

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u/teebob21 8d ago

"I'm sorry that you're butthurt about what I did. From the very bottom of my heart, I hope you can find it within yourself to get over it. Also, I didn't realize he was old."

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u/flyinhighaskmeY 8d ago

It's funny right?

Like on one hand, society has to have control. We can't go over the top with punishing things like this. Eye for an eye is bad policy and had to end.

But you know those battering rams that fire fighters use to knock down doors? Man what I'd give to see this kid standing by the river and have a couple of firemen pop him with one of those so he can enjoy the experience himself.

This young man is very lucky he's living in the timeframe he is in.

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u/teebob21 8d ago

Man what I'd give to see this kid standing by the river and have a couple of firemen pop him with one of those so he can enjoy the experience himself.

Revenge and retribution are powerfully addictive impulses, aren't they?

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u/The_Superfist 8d ago

I call it a Nonpology.

It's a statement that doesn't actually apologize for anything but expresses sorrow over getting caught or punished more than for the actual event.

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u/1block 8d ago

"I'm sorry your feelings got hurt" is my favorite.

I apologize that you're too sensitive. I won't address my action at all. Thank you.

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u/Caveman108 8d ago

I’m sorry that you feel the need for me to apologize.

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u/SteveSonOfJobs 8d ago edited 8d ago

I have been offered many apologies, but mostly, I didn't feel like accepting any

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u/Dudelison 8d ago

"I thought I was assaulting a 30 year old or something, which in my mind, would make me a fraction of the horrible piece of shit I currently am, maybe even excuse my behavior"

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u/kamikazi1231 8d ago

Which is such crap because a 30 year old man would use his full adult muscles and frustration with life to smash the teen and toss him in the river. This kid knew he was attacking someone older who probably wasn't at peak fight back age.

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u/Kckc321 8d ago

I’m a grown adult who can swim pretty decent. Went in a river one time and almost got swept away it was so strong. Woulda died, no one knew I was out there.

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u/kamikazi1231 8d ago

That's terrifying glad it didn't toss you into a current you couldn't get out of. Water has some amazing power.

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u/Dudelison 8d ago

And it would be equally wrong even if it was a MMA fighter at their peak. This kid is 100% a piece of shit.

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u/ghalta 8d ago

Aren't MMA fighters mostly heavy muscle that would sink? For him, the worst person he could kick into a river would be Michael Phelps, since he'd just do a few loops underwater until he springs out, flying through the air back at the bastard like a angry cruise missile.

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u/HowDoMermaidsFuck 8d ago

Eh. Elite athletes with super low body fat might have a slightly harder time staying afloat than a normal person, but probably not enough to matter. Plus the athlete is much more likely to catch you when he gets out of the water vs a regular guy that will be out of breath after a couple blocks.

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u/TheExarion 8d ago

Also I just fucking hate the “everyone makes mistakes” and, not that it happened here, but when someone’s like “I’m young, of course I’m going to make mistakes” bullshit line. Like, you’re clearly self-aware enough to the point that you KNEW what you did was a mistake. The fact that you recognize it as such makes it instantly unforgivable imo, no matter what the age.

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u/BaconJellyBeans 8d ago

A mistake is putting your shirt on backwards. A mistake is not flying karate kicking a stranger into a river.

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u/TotallyTiredToday 8d ago

A mistake implies that you were doing something reasonable but somehow messed up. There are very few situations in which flying kicking anyone is reasonable, and zero in which flying kicking a random person who didn’t sign up to be the target is reasonable.

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u/thragar 8d ago

Also, “everybody makes mistakes” is something someone else says in your defense. Who says that in their own defence??

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u/Baecchus 8d ago

Dipshit kid watched way too many Youtuber apology videos.

I'm gonna get shit for this but I don't care about this kid's age. He's not a toddler, you don't FUCKING KICK someone into a river without intending to cause harm. He needs to get punished.

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u/CryptozNewb 8d ago

He's 18. He's old enough for a big boy punishment.

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u/zirtbow 8d ago

The only way this apology could have been any worse is if at the end he said don't forget to like and subscribe.

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u/Sunnysidhe 8d ago

Don't forget to karate kick that subscribe button

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u/Not_Lane_Kiffin 8d ago

it wasn't supposed to happen

Really? What was supposed to happen?

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u/FQDIS 8d ago

He was supposed to get away without being caught.

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u/IgneousPhoenixflame 8d ago

Exactly this! He should be sorry he even considered it in the first place let alone commit! Age doesn't matter, why would you endanger ANYONE for laughs?

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u/ACaffeinatedWandress 8d ago

Also, I have to point out a pet peeve of mine: the teen is an 18 year old. He is an adult, and lord knows he ought to be tried as one.

I get that it is accurate to call the dude a ‘teen’, but I hate it when papers do this whenever a man 18/19 year old does some grievous crime like this. It seems like it is trying to delude the public into thinking a 13 year old shithead did it (which is still bad, but not as bad as a fully grown adult).

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u/SteveSonOfJobs 8d ago

I did a lot of stupid shit as a kid, but yet, I understood some lines even though my brain wasn't fully developed. I don't get why we're supposed to let younglings off the hook for hideous crimes

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u/CrucialLogic 8d ago

His mother is equally contemptible in his defense. There are plenty of people out there who don't know how to swim or may have had other difficulties in the water (such as getting knocked unconscious), this should be treated as attempted murder or at the very least as the highest degree assault.

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u/Huttj509 8d ago

Back in college the tradition used to be after pledging the pledges threw the pledgemaster in the lake.

Well, one year some consensual roughhousing on the dock started before that, the pledgemaster caught a kick to the gut knocking the wind out of him, which also knocked him off the dock.

He was really floundering and disoriented from the combination, and I'm really glad I was able to haul him up a bit before things took a really bad turn.

That is no longer the tradition there, last I heard.

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u/flyinhighaskmeY 8d ago

What what was supposed to happen when you intentionally flying kick someone by a river?

I'm 40. Not only have I made it to the ripe age of 40 without kicking someone into a river...I made it to 40 without ever hearing of anyone, ever being "karate kicked" into a river.

Until today.

Mom needs to explain why she didn't have an abortion.

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u/Elevenst 8d ago

Well yes, everyone does make mistakes, but not everyone makes ones that are that fucked up.

This is a lack of ethics, not a lapse in judgement. Stupid little shit.

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u/octaviusJones 8d ago

I don't like calling it a mistake at all. It wasn't a mistake or an accident, it was an intentional awful choice.

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u/caravaggihoe 8d ago

Also sure everyone makes mistakes but not all mistakes are equal we’re still responsible for the consequences of those mistakes. Especially if your mistake is almost fucking killing a pensioner.

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u/Matcha_Bubble_Tea 8d ago

I hate this argument used to excuse kids/minors just because of their age too.

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u/Pudding_Hero 8d ago

Fun fact. He only made one mistake, getting caught.

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u/NorkGhostShip 8d ago

His mistake was posting his crime on fucking Snapchat

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u/_Occams-Chainsaw_ 8d ago edited 8d ago

The victim's wife said her husband 'believes he could have drowned that day, if it had not have been for the young girls that helped him out'.

A CPS spokesperson added: "She says he has changed since the attack and has become aggressive, depressed and is reluctant to go out."

Poor fucker. In his 75th year and now he has something like PTSD to deal with.


Edit: 'something like' in the sense of 'something with the depth of trauma of' rather than suggesting that these aren't classic PTSD symptoms.

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u/TheRandomMelon 8d ago

Just a ✨ happy little accident ✨

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u/Nitrous_party 8d ago

The kid maybe, the kick not so much

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u/HaydenJA3 8d ago

I mean who hasn’t kicked an old man into a river at some point?

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u/TheRandomMelon 8d ago

I do it every Friday

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u/Phat3lvis 8d ago edited 8d ago

What an incredibly insincere apology, he has managed to make it all about himself, like he is the victim.

"Obviously I’m very sorry and that, you know, it wasn’t supposed to happen. I didn’t realise he was 74 years old", he said."

So a younger person or a kid would have been fine to kick in the river? His only mistake was not knowing the age of the victim?

"Bridgeman added: "Obviously everyone makes mistakes in life...."

Translation: I am not the only person who does this, we all do bad things so its really not a big deal"

"That’s the honest truth from the bottom of my heart. There’s not much I can say."

Ironically this part is probably true.

His mum, who supported him in court, said: "For me, I want the elderly gentleman to get better because my son’s not a rogue."

"It was something that he did, stupidly, at the minute and nobody wants the fella. What's the word? Suffer.

Translation: I hope that guy does not, whats the word? Die. Because if that happens my son will have to go to jail over some old guy.

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u/Janethemane 8d ago

The shit apple didn’t fall far from the shit tree in this family.

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u/hh3k0 8d ago

"Obviously I’m very sorry and that, you know, it wasn’t supposed to happen."

That in itself is pretty rich, too. What exactly wasn't supposed to happen, you little twerp?

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u/St_Veloth 8d ago

His overuse of "obviously" makes it even more clear that he even feels hes being strung along and forced to give an apology but still doesn't understand why

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u/MeringueAccording 8d ago

Two 14 year old girls had to save the poor man that a grown 18 year old kicked in the water. He needs to be thankful those girls were more mature than him or he might have been facing a murder charge. And of course his mom is taking up for him, that’s how he got to be this shitty of a human.

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u/Rosebunse 8d ago

Those girls could have died trying to save the man.

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u/justlurkingmate 8d ago

Wait what? He's 18, does big boy moves, but then needs his mum in court?

What a fucking micro dick.

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u/Buckling 8d ago

Yeah he need mummy to help him after attempted murder, what a tough guy

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u/Verified765 8d ago

Yes many teens are worthy of emulating, some not so much.

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u/Top_Huckleberry_2576 8d ago

To me, the "everyone makes mistakes" in his apology completely voids his apology. Don't drag the rest of us into your apology. Say you're sorry, admit you're an idiot, and promise to do better in the future. Then actually do better in the future.

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u/Stan62 8d ago

"As well as suffering the physical and emotional effects of the attack, the victim also lost a sentimental silver dollar pendant attached to his keyring – a keepsake from his dad, who he never knew. Several well-wishers scoured the Mersey in the days following the incident in an attempt to recover it, and one successfully pulled the memento from the water using a magnet."

Praise God for kind hearted people. Kid needs to learn some compassion...

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u/CyberRozatek 8d ago

They found it? That's really lucky and I'm glad that's one less injury inflicted on this poor man.

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u/onlyspeaksinhashtag 8d ago

Amazingly a lot of people live their whole life and never kick someone into a River.

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u/FindTheCultInCulture 8d ago edited 8d ago

Crazily enough, just an hour ago the results of his court case were reported on.

10 weeks in jail, with a prior record (convictions for having weapons, criminal damage and breaches of a community order.)

I'd have tripled that just for him being an entitled shit.

https://www.chesterstandard.co.uk/news/chester/19363762.cheshire-benjamin-bridgeman-jailed-kicking-pensioner-river/

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u/bob_fossill 8d ago

To be honest if he'd shown a bit of remorse he probably would have got a suspended sentence

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u/FindTheCultInCulture 8d ago

Totally agree, reading his quotes makes him sound like he didn't gaf and his mom was making him apologize.

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u/bob_fossill 8d ago

Yep, mental that he doesn't seem to think what he did was too wrong but hopefully a few months in prison will set him straight

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u/PowerfulSausage 8d ago

He probably won't do the full 10 weeks.

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u/letshaveadab 8d ago

Bridgeman has previous convictions for having weapons, criminal damage and breaches of a community order.

Is that what should have happened? 10 weeks doesn't sound like enough to me

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u/spubbbba 8d ago

Should have given him 10 years and after he got out, the Judge say.

"Obviously I’m very sorry and that, you know, it wasn’t supposed to happen. I didn’t realise it was 10 years, it was supposed to be 10 weeks. Obviously everyone makes mistakes in life. Do you know what I mean? That’s the honest truth from the bottom of my heart. There’s not much I can say."

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u/ManyPoo 8d ago

I would take 10 weeks in jail for the opportunity to kick him in a river

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u/DiamondPigman_ 8d ago

What a bloody disgusting sentence, poor sod could've easily died.

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u/Gilgamesh024 8d ago

But nobody accidentally "karate kicks" someone

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u/GiraffeandZebra 8d ago

Kids a little shit that deserves to be punished, but for the sake of pedantry: Mistake /= Accident.

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u/zoitberg 8d ago

that mother is also a piece of shit - no wonder her son is trash too

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u/Xephon-70 8d ago

"It was something that he did, stupidly, at the minute and nobody wants the fella. What's the word? Suffer."

His mum had to think of the word "suffer".

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u/joey1028 8d ago

This had me rofl when I read it hahaha

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u/hh3k0 8d ago

They both sounded like sociopaths if their statements are anything to go by.

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u/illy-chan 8d ago

A mistake is mixing bleach and ammonia together while cleaning not knowing that they'll react and create a deadly gas.

Sending a man into a river with a flying kick is assault.

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u/Thefdt 8d ago

You can tell his mum doesn’t quite grasp the gravity & reprehensibility of his action, no wonder he’s grown up to be a little scrote.

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u/Eurymedion 8d ago

Old guy should sue the stupid kid and his family for battery.

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u/mfizzled 8d ago

I think more often in the UK, the court awards damages as opposed to them suing. Obligatory not a lawyer though.

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u/demetriosking 8d ago

The "kid" is an 18 year old legal adult who can and should be tried for battery (at minimum,) attempted manslaughter (at maximum.)

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u/covalcenson 8d ago

Queue South Park

Laying naked on a bearskin rug

We're Sorry...

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u/adstaylor77 8d ago

What a pathetic non-apology. Both him and his mom are pieces of shit.

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u/chubby_rain3 8d ago

Does anybody want to talk about the shock value kids are going for on social media these days?

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u/GiraffeandZebra 8d ago

Not particularly.

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u/chubby_rain3 8d ago

Lol. Fair enough.

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u/moon_jock 8d ago

Maybe next time, but I’m just not in the mood this decade.

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u/aishik-10x 8d ago

Not to mention the extremely-fake apologies that are casually passed off afterwards. Shitty YouTubers having so much sway over kids might not be a great thing.

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u/2TauntU 8d ago

I saw a video of a little shit walking into a Target, throwing a watermelon through the drop ceiling, and giving a thumbs-up before running out of the store leaving some poor employee to clean up the damn mess. i still get pissed thinking about it.

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u/Ragnarotico 8d ago

Yea he made a mistake but the type of kid that thinks it's "funny" to kick someone into a river with their back turned to you is probably doing/has been doing lots of other shit that they thought was "funny" growing up.

This behavior is probably not an aberration. His mother probably raised him in a certain way for him to turn out like this.

Hopefully he learns a lesson and stops his nonsense. If he doesn't he'll probably end up a criminal escalating from petty crimes to more hardened ones as he mixes with the wrong crowd in prison.

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u/Alucard_Emordnilap 8d ago

We truly over use the term “mistake”, he deliberately kicked someone into a river, there was no mistake there, it was not a mistake.

When someone points their gun at a person, then shoots at them and murder that person intentionally, then laugh about it and post a video of it on the internet because they think it’s funny, they can’t claim it was a mistake.

A mistake is when you give someone the wrong amount of change, or for an extreme example swing a punch at a friend who grabbed your shoulder unexpectedly and startled you, a mistake is when you are driving and miss a stop sign because you are distracted and crash into another car killing a child, those are mistakes, this is not a mistake.

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u/Dmoe33 8d ago edited 8d ago

Oh piss off. EvErYoNe MaKeS mIsTaKeS is the worst excuse for doing something terrible. Yes everyone makes mistakes but not everyone is a fucking twatnugget that goes around hitting old people into rivers.

Fucking imbecile.

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u/ASDSAGSDFSDF 8d ago

the victim could have easily been overcome by the fast-flowing river had it not been for the actions of two passing schoolgirls. Ellie Hughes and Khloe Woods, both 14, formed a human chain in order to rescue the elderly gentleman

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the victim also lost a sentimental silver dollar pendant attached to his keyring – a keepsake from his dad, who he never knew. Several well-wishers scoured the Mersey in the days following the incident in an attempt to recover it, and one successfully pulled the memento from the water using a magnet.

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Meanwhile, kind-hearted residents donated hundreds of pounds to an online crowdfunding page set up with the aim of sending the pensioner on a fishing holiday.

Lots of really lovely parts to this story.

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u/The_Unreal 8d ago

For example, your parents could have saved everyone a big disappointment by using birth control.

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u/chibinoi 8d ago

After reading the article, it’s pretty apparent to me that this douche bag and his douche bag friend aren’t actually remorseful at all.

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u/Moosetappropriate 8d ago

You're 18 fuckin' years old you little shite, you can't call assault a mistake.

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u/thisismySFWprofile 8d ago

"Obviously I’m very sorry and that, you know, it wasn’t supposed to happen. I didn’t realise he was 74 years old", he said.

so a 73 year old is fair game????

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u/Abrahamlinkenssphere 8d ago

The fact that his mom is defending him tells me she shouldn’t have kids.

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